Fantasy Spas

I don’t quite remember the exact specifics of what led me to writing rules for fantasy brothels. I think it was a sort of internet dare, or musings to see how it would work. The rules did get written though. Very quickly those rules got converted to fantasy spas, so it was less sketchy. Although it doesn’t take a lot of re-fluffing if you want to go back.

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After a long day adventuring, it’s nice to lay back and unwind. There are professionals who make that sort of thing even easier. 

A spa typically charges rates, and those will vary as the campaign needs arise. It might change city to city, and it might change setting to setting, or play group to play group. Broadly speaking these prices should give a baseline for the magical spa, which is obviously way better than just paying for a fun night. The DM should feel encouraged to rough up the costs to make them look intentional. Rather than ending in a 5 or 0, consider the other 8 possible numbers. The swing of 9gp isn’t going to make a difference in actual game play. 

Any given spa will provide a combination of the Boons below. The largest will offer multiple services while smaller or more boutique shops may specialize in a single one. If the DM is randomly generating one, simply roll 1d4 for the number of Short Rest, 1d4 for Long Rest, and 1d4 for Extended Stay benefits offered. The DM should feel encouraged to pick specific benefits if they make sense for the specific one. A spa on the borders of the ice kingdom might specialize in Boons that negate cold for example. A DM should also feel encouraged not to offer Extended Stays, or to raise the level of specific Boons. 

Boons

Short Rest: A Short Rest is a simple stop in. These generally last an hour or so, and cost 100gp. All have a CL of 5 for the purposes of dispel magic. These should be broadly level 3 SLAs or less, for the purposes of creating your own. 

  • Quick Save: You can attune to the specific spa and teleport to it without error, assuming you can teleport. 
  • Special Healing: After an hours work, you regain hit points as though from a night’s rest (no new spells), plus the effects of a cure light wounds spell (1d8+1). 
  • Blessing: For the remainder of the day, you are under the effects of the Bless spell. 
  • Endure Elements: for the remainder of the day you are under the effects of the endure elements spell. 
  • Enhanced Ability: for the remainder of the day, you gain a +4 enhancement bonus to a stat of your choice. 
  • Magical Repair: Restores 1d4 ability damage spread out among stats as you choose. 
  • Clear it up: You can remove any single disease or curse from affecting you. 
  • Moment of Clarity: You gain the benefits of the augury spell for one action you plan to take within the next 24 hours. 
  • Pep in Your Step: You gain a +10ft luck bonus to your move speed for the remainder of the day. 
  • I Was Never Here: For the remainder of the day, you can move through any terrain and leave neither footprints or smell, leaving tracking impossible without magic. 
  • Tongues: You can speak with any living creature for the remainder of the day. 

Long Rest: A Long Rest requires spending the night, or 6 hours, whichever is shorter. The cost for a Long Rest is 750gp, including lodging. All have a CL of 10 for the purposes of dispel magic.These should be broadly level 6 SLAs or less, for the purposes of creating your own. 

  • Restoration: Restores any level loss or ability score damage.
  • Big Man: Your size increases by 1 category and your strength increases by 8 for the remainder of the day. 
  • Take me to Church: You awaken with a flash of insight, gaining answers to 10 questions as per the commune spell. These are always granted as though from a helpful, omniscient, entity. 
  • Elemental Resistance: You gain resistance 10 to a given element of your choice for the day. 
  • You Look Different: You awaken in a new form. Chosen randomly, but you can keep coming back for more tries if you want. Use the Reincarnation table. 
  • Impenetrable: You gain DR 10/magic for the day. 

Extended Stay: An extended stay is the ultimate package, and represents a week of revelry, including food and lodging. An Extended Stay costs 1,500gp. All have a CL of 15 for the purposes of dispel magic.These should be broadly level 9 SLAs or less, for the purposes of creating your own.  

  • Its a Miracle: The miracle spell with the following restrictions
    • Duplicate any cleric spell of 8th level or lower (including spells to which you have access because of your domains).
    • Duplicate any other spell of 7th level or lower.
    • Undo the harmful effects of certain spells, such as feeblemind or insanity.
  • See it as it is: You gain true seeing for the day immediately after your session ends. 
  • Referral Bonus: You can teleport without error to another known spa, even if you’ve never been there. 
  • Hide Away: For the duration of your stay, you are immune to scrying, and magical detection. The spa will generally keep you in a private place too. 
  • Playing with Yourself: For the duration of your stay, and for one week after, you are granted use of a Simulacrum, as per the spell. You are not allowed to leave the premise with it. 
  • Destination Vacation: A Gate (as per the spell) is opened on the first day of your stay to any eligible destination of your choosing. It remains open for the duration of your stay, and closes automatically. 

Not a Boon: Spas that employ magical beings may also offer their spell casting, or magical effects to travelers. This is generally priced equivalent to an Extended Stay and/or NPC spellcasting services, just less fun. 

New Feat

In-N-Out

You gain the benefits of a long rest at a spa while only staying for a short rest duration. If you stay for a Long Rest, you can gain the benefits of an extended stay if you choose. (Costs remain the same). 

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