The Complete Guide to Treants

There are two types of TTRPG supplements out there: 1) complete garbage, and 2) The Complete Guide to Treants (CGTT). Dear reader, this book will not only provide you a wealth of information about the objectively best creature in D&D, but will hastily transport you into a personal age of enlightenment. Some would say that a friend gifted me this book many years ago, but I would wholeheartedly disagree. This book was bestowed upon me like Excalibur itself, and as such I have kept this gleaming tome of knowledge in museum quality condition. Have no doubt, this will be a museum piece worthy of the Louvre.

Just take a look at the cover. It tells you everything you need to know. Villagers fleeing at the sight of a single screaming Treant. This Treant gives so few f***s that he literally has fire in his mouth and eyes. His only adversary is a single pitchfork wielding peasant. Now some would argue that the woman in the Treant’s hands is that of a damsel in distress, but those ignorant fools would be wrong. Take a closer look and you will see that the Treant is going to gently place her down on the other side of that fiery trench. The same fiery trench created by those ignorant peasants. I could go on for days about this masterpiece that graces the cover of the CGTT, but we must go on.

If you are fortunate enough to open the cover you will graced with 43 pages of pure Treanty bliss. Everything about Treants are contained within seven spell binding chapters: Physiology, Social Structure, Cultural Habits, Combat Strategies, Characters, Treant Magic, and Campaigns. If that were not enough, your eyes will be lovingly kissed with what can only be described as three magnificently laid out appendices containing New Templates, New Monsters, and Sample NPCs.

After reading this marvel of literary genius, you are going to want Treants in every campaign. And let me tell you, Treants work in every conceivable setting. Not true you say? Well you can stop with the nay saying while I point out Groot. If you didn’t cry when he died in the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, you have no heart. That is just science, my friend. Also, spoiler alert for a movie in 2014 that you should have already seen. But what about settings where trees don’t exist? Well, if that’s the setting you are in, doesn’t that mean they are long overdue for a Treant?

The CGTT will grace you with a Treant for every occasion. Undead Treants, Underdark Treants, soul eating Treants? Check, check, and check! There is even a section for playing as a Treant. In fact, I used the easy to follow guide to create a bonsai treant, and will be using it as the main antagonist in my next Shadowrun campaign.

The Good

This book provides everything you need to know, not just about Treants, but about life itself. If I had to pick my top three desert island reads, it would be this book three times. Also, if I had someone with me, I would use up their choices for another three backup copies.

The Bad

Its about 6000 pages, and 20 volumes short of what it should be. Also, I may be the only person in the world with a copy.

Overall

Goodman Games and/or author Joe Crow. I don’t know if you are reading this, but you made your masterpiece back in 2003, now go home and celebrate.

Also, this is literally a guide for adding Treants in your 3rd Edition D&D campaign.

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